the niki download

8/13/2021

Happy Friday the 13th

If you want some history on this day of “bad luck” and how it
relates to esoteric western traditions, here is a simple read.

The fear of the number 13 is called Triskaidekaphobia.

I write these newsletters the Thursday before I send, typically at night after everyone goes to sleep, so I do not know what will happen today, but I have a theory that fear is an illusion developed by a demiurge who runs the simulation we live in, so that it can feed off of us like a vampire.

I also have a theory (credit to Cecilia) that if you are a weirdo, Friday the 13th is actually a lucky day. So I am expecting tomorrow to be great, for me.

I am getting more and more insane and calm at the same time.

How are you feeling lately?

Déjà vu

It feels like we have been here before…

“Déjà vu” is a french phrase that means “already seen”. It is usually used to refer to the feeling that one has already lived through the present situation. It happens to me a lot, along with synchronicities, because, as I said, I am going insane (along with the planet).

I am leaning into insanity lately.

The less I hold onto what I think is “right,” the more my life seems to align with what my heart feels. The more I lean into anxieties, the less cumbersome they feel. I am fully believing life is an illusion.

We live in Plato’s Cave, and it is a lot of fun, if you let it be.

Maybe this is a coping mechanism for the massive upheaval of society we are all living through. Or maybe I am onto something. I tend to dwell in a place of hard liner belief and skepticism, viewing myself and my life as a hilarious joke for my benefit. I fully expect to have the last laugh.

I had Déjà vu last Thursday, so I want to tell you about it.

It all started with this frog I found on the Huron River. After making this photograph I kissed it and to my surprise, it turned into a prince.

Cam Wilson, a cool musician from Augusta Georgia. We connected immediately and I did what I always do when I meet new people I think are cool…

We made some photos, and smoked CBD Cigarettes.

Cam, no longer a frog, needed a lift back to town, so I obliged. As we were walking to where I was parked, we came across the exact same scene, at the exact same time, at the exact same spot, as a few weeks ago, when I was at the river rope swing with my friend Riley.

(You remember that classic download, right?
How could you forget? Don’t worry, you will remember!)

In Ecce Homo, Nietzsche writes about eternal recurrence, the idea that, over an infinite period of time, everything recurs infinitely. His solution? Amor fati, or to love one’s fate.

Ecce Homo was the last book Nietzsche wrote before going insane.

It was written in 1888 and published in 1908.

8 looks like an hourglass, a symbol for time?

If you turn eight on it's side, it is the symbol for infinity.

Tons of ancient traditions believe in cyclical time, rather than linear. Even folks who promote the idea of the “big bang” will concede that it will end with the “big bounce,” when the universe collapses in on itself and potentially “resets.”

I know this is all a mouthful, and probably sounds like someone jamming a hot dog down their throat. But it is where I am at right now…

A lot of this download was sampled from the writings of my friend Nick Hinton, a wizard of conspiracy realism and a true savant. He was kind enough to come on my podcast back in March (feels like a lifetime ago). It was one of my favorites so far. I honestly was surprised he responded to me when I asked. The experience taught me that you should reach out to people regardless of fear of rejection, you will be truly surprised at what is possible.

Anyways… See you next week!

-niki

If you want to support this newsletter
or my work here is your option:

Join my cult, I am taking applications: nikimidwest@gmail.com

This download was edited by the indelible David Pratt

Special thanks to Cam Wilson for going on a journey with me.