#48
4/01/2022

The Toll

Last Friday I was scrolling the depths of social media when I came across a post from my friend Casia mentioning that a group of people had chained themselves to a Cat Deforester Machine with the goal of stopping a new luxury housing development being built in Ann Arbor.

Sold to the the Toll Brothers by Concordia University, the 30 acre wooded site “Concord Pines” contains 447 landmark trees, of which, 311 will be cut down. 450 of 741 low-level woodland trees will also be removed. The total combined diameter of all the trees being removed measures over a half mile.

I headed to the site after work
to see what was going on.

I met a woman who called herself Osprey who
said she had chained herself to this
Tiger Cat Deforestation Machine since dawn.

“We are here to stop this development from being built. We have tried all the options that are out there, this was the next step. Ann Arbor is an extremely economically segregated city, we
don’t need more luxury homes, we don’t need more forests being bulldozed.”

Another protestor, Tegwyn, elaborated,

“We need to prove Ann Arbor residents have a voice, even if the city council thinks it doesn’t. The planning meetings around this development happened behind closed doors, leaving many of its neighbors feeling hopeless at the prospects of loosing these woods. Community discussion was held after the decisions to re-zone from “urban forest” to “residential” had been made.”

“We have all been atomized into individual consumers, when in-fact we are not, we are all connected and in community. Of course we are here for the trees, we are here for affordable housing, but this fight is so much bigger than just this parcel. This is about showing people in Ann Arbor that they can make a difference and have a voice in their community.

That the images on your screens of people standing up against corporate interests can occur in front of you if you get out of your seat.”

When I asked a man who called himself Chef why he was there, he said “Well, it is a good project to save the forests around here, there is not a lot of habitat left…”

“…If you don’t get up and do something about this stuff, we are screwed,” he said with a chuckle.

As the sun was setting, the protestors packed up their home-made “Cat Deforester Machine Locking Mechanism”, collapsible camp chairs, and water bottles and sternly told me “NO PICTURES OF THE CARS.”

I asked them what the plan was going forward and they said “you will have to wait and see.”

I thought it was sort of funny that the action took a pause over the weekend. It was as if the protestors and construction workers had signed a no fire peace treaty.

It seems the weekends are a
sacred timeless place for all.

I spent mine at UFO factory listening to the delightful and poignant ravings of Lydia Lunch.

She brought along my friend Joseph Keckler who is in possession of a voice which might just bring peace on earth, after thoroughly drenching it in comedic darkness and forcing us all to the mirror.

On Monday morning two protestors who again chained themselves to the Cat Deforester Machine were arrested on misdemeanor charges.

Before the police showed up a Toll Brother’s contractor allegedly sprayed them with cold
water and turned on the machine in a
show of intimidation. He faces no charges.

Tree removal commenced. Tree Town, it seems, is slated for the same fate as much of Southeastern Michigan…

Endless lawns. Identical boxes constructed from cheap timber, foam and a veneer of concrete. Tiny saplings transferred into the ground which once held decades old trees. Vast swaths of architecture designed to be viewed from the road way rendering the pedestrian alienated from the natural environment.

Endless sprawl walled in with boxes bearing logos which grin, bark and beg. Webs of Subdivisions spoked by constellations of Big Box Stores. Streets which curve and confuse and double back trapping unsuspecting souls into a purgatory of corporate hell. Decades old forest vistas replanted with sapling trees.

The perfect place for me.

The market for houses in Ann Arbor is pretty tough, with the average single family home costing $456,000.

I wanted to see how far my $59,000 salary from the University of Michigan would take me so I visited North Oaks, a development being built by the Toll Brothers in Northern Ann Arbor.

I took in the freshly clear cut vistas and gazed at what could be mine with over one year’s salary as downpayment.

A vinyl sided townhome.

Filled to the brim with “luxury.”

Could this be me?

Are 57 homes worth over 750 trees?

It doesn’t matter, I need this house. I told the real estate agent I was soon to inherit a down payment and convinced him to let me move in immediately. Meanwhile I plan to murder my parents and liquidate their assets.

I will call my mortgage payment “The Toll” for fun.

April Fools.

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