the niki download

8/20/2021

Here is a picture of a bee taking a nap in a flower growing out of a slab of concrete. I know things feel FUCKING NUTS right now, but look! Anything is possible. In the 6th century BC, the sage Lao Tzu wrote 5000 words which speak to the exact place we find ourselves now. Here is one of my favorite chapters:

Men are born soft and supple;
dead, they are stiff and hard.
Plants are born tender and pliant;
dead they are brittle and dry.

Thus whoever is stiff and inflexible
is a disciple of death
Whoever is soft and yielding
is a disciple of life

The hard and stiff will be broken.
The soft and supple will prevail.

The Third Time is a Charm

*Yes I am writing about that rope swing again, this is now the rope swing download*

Also I did not bring my camera, so enjoy these phone pix…

This week has been incredibly auspicious for me. Filled with innumerable synchronicities and beautiful moments. I got to see 6 friends who I have not been able to chill with in a minute and I am filled to the brim with gratitude and acceptance for life. This is not to say everything is good. In fact, in a way things are worse now than ever before. But I have an acceptance of that, I understand it is all my doing, I seek patience and resolve to fix what is broken.

The week started in balance, I experienced a beautiful moment at the Barton Pond Rope Swing.

It is truly a temple to what is good...

Here is what went down…

My friend, the indelible illumination designer Matt Rosner, is in town doing business man shit, so we connected and I planned on taking his ass on a challenging bike ride around Barton Hills and swinging into the river.

We thrashed those hills. We ate a bunch of hot sauce on falafel right before the ride because we are masochists, and our bellies were filled with fire as we rode. We discussed the intricacies of life, collective consciousnesses, and the mysterious gift of bearing witness to being.

We arrived at the rope swing junction (it’s near the train tracks) and puffed some cannabis to steady our resolve. It was time to swing into the cool waters of redemption.

20210815, 3:53 PM, Matt Practicing the Arc.

As we approached the rope, we knew we were fucked. Someone had sheared it. I wonder how bad they got hurt? Rope swings are dangerous. What happened next felt like a really fun RPG game. We took stock of our provisions, we did not have much, just water bottles and cannabis and… Carabiners. Matt, if you don’t know him, has that summer camp director energy. He is always calm, always prepared, and is 100% going to be a master one day, if not already.

So we tied up the carabiners (there was some extra rope in the river) and thought, of course, we can totally throw the carabiner through the handle and then boom, we swingin’.

After about 50 attempts at this and a lot of learning about arc and thrust, we determined that was impossible. We were cooked. Until…

Another Nick showed up and his wonderful girlfriend Rachel. They too were there to swing. Matt and I were tired from our attempts at reconnecting the rope. We sat down and watched Nick go through the same struggle alone. Finally, we began to work together. Matt stood at the top of the ridge holding the disconnected rope. I stood at the bottom holding a tall branc- and moved the sheared rope swing towards him. Now that the handle was closer, Matt was able to throw the carabiner through the handle. Nick then used another stick to draw the carabiner downwards. Here is the moment we realized we had just succeeded.

I was first to take the plunge.

It was the moment I have been building up to with the other downloads.

The whole time Matt, Nick, Rachel and I were working on solving the rope swing riddle, two 15-year-old girls were watching us, Ellie and BeBe. They told us they had broken the branches we used to string up the rope. Everyone at that swing contributed to realizing our collective goal of taking the plunge.

Ellie swung and made it. Bebe swung and let go at the bottom of the arc.

I could hear Ellie saying, “oh no,” as Bebe emerged from the water. She was in pain.

”Is it your surgery knee?”

“Yes, I am not ok”

I scrambled down the hill, thinking she might not be able to walk. But Bebe is strong, she walked back up the hill in her own power. It was only a flesh wound, her knee gushed with crimson.

We cleaned her blood before we made this photograph. She held out her knee as a sign of strength. She had dislocated that knee three times following her passions for soccer and dance. Something tells me she is going to be just fine.

As will I.

As will you.

So often we focus on trauma as inspiration for art. Lately, I have been focusing on healing. I had an idea of how badly I needed it, but was unable to admit it to myself. Now that I have, I am resolving to move forward in light and to shed darkness. Art is life. Life is healing. Trauma is a part of life. An infinite loop.

You can see it, can’t you? Will you admit it to yourself? Will you be patient? I am asking myself these questions. Intention is everything. Until you are dead and gone. There is no rest for the wicked.

Can you bear your intentions? Of course you can.

Be patient and breathe, lean on other people and rise together.

See you next week.

-niki

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Remove all of your masks (the ones you wear on the inside) and breathe, hold space for your life to unfold, buckle up, its going to be intense and confusing, remember we are in this together: nikimidwest@gmail.com